Omigosh.

Where's my sense of urgency??!!?!?!?!!? I'm half acting as though my papers are over and the holidays are well and truly here... Like going back to hc twice in three days (Saturday and Monday) instead of mugging, and slacking around during the third day away from hc (Sunday) because I figured the exam is open book anyway. (which is why I nearly died yesterday, but that's another -exciting- story) BUT BUT BUT I could have studied for the following 2 papers which are closed book and on the same day. (damn.) Which is what I really ought to be doing now since the last time I touched them was a few weeks ago but I'm like, the world's greatest procastinator. I'd get cracking once I finish this entry and moved my bowels.

Anyway, I think its a supreme irony that I don't like to study plants, but I always do better at questions related to them. Then again, my talents and interests never collide, so I lead a pretty miserable life in terms of achievements.

Blogging is a contradiction in itself. Some of us blog because we feel upset but don't want to burden someone else with our troubles, but then isn't it akin to shouting out your troubles to the world and burdening everyone who reads your blog?

I dreamt I got an email from Adelaide. And now I'm afraid because what I dream of normally won't happen in real life.

Brain went on leave...

So I'm here.

I think I have an increased tendency to blog during times of stress. -_-"
Das ist nicht gut.

As I was saying, as tomorrow only promises an open book test, my brain went on leave. Although I did try to work for the tests on wednesday (yup, note the pural form) but brain seriously isn't in. Ah well, this just bodes a mad pia-ing session after the paper tomorrow.

So I might just mention that Interaction this year was a SMASHING success. The juniors did a great job, plus I've never seen such a turnout rate in my year as a participant, year as organiser and year as a senior. Until my second year as a senior, that is. It only just underscores the fact that for an event to succeed, there must be good planning AND a good turnout rate. Yup so a great big pat on the back for all the juniors who were at the event =) And I managed to STAY DRY for the entire waterbomb session by prudently disappearing upon seeing some people, like I've always been good at doing. However, I also concluded that there was a key factor in my dry success: piakchu is currently hundreds and hundred of miles away. Bwahaha.

To be a jc student again...

PostSecret

I think its worth a look: PostSecret

I can't find archives so I assume it changes everyday.

They are extremely compelling. I can't for the life of me describe the kind of raw emotion behind some of them. Some are downright hilarious, some are depressing, some give excellent food for thought and some just strikes you as something you could have written too...

From amazon.com:
At the beginning of 2005, Frank Warren launched a new blog called PostSecret as an experiment in community art, inviting strangers to mail him anonymous postcards that made art out of their innermost secrets and then posting a selection of the cards every week on his blog. Within a year, his blog was one of the five most popular in the world, and his first book, PostSecret, was one of the surprise bestsellers of 2005. My Secret is his second book, a collection of cards from teens and college students--none of which has been shown on the website--that carries the same emotional power and creativity that have made Warren's project a phenomenon.

I see that Borders has these books. Excellent. If it can't be found in the singapore branch... -cough- it is hoped that those overseas would do me a favour. Ahem. =P Unless, of course, I head overseas too. Its drawing closer to December.

Exams Shoo. I have so many plans for the December holidays.

大长今

This comes a year late, but I am currently hopelessly addicted to 大长今, which for obvious reasons is NOT a good thing to be now.

I should be addicted to things like... Organic Chemistry - A biological approach, for instance.

argh

I need to get a life.
I need to wake up.
I cannot be contented with what I have been given already.
I need to keep my focus on what my dreams are. To concentrate on the finish line and meet the obstacles along the way, not look at the obstacles and lose sight of the finish line.


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So what have I been up to (or got into) for the last few days?

Well, at this point, I'm looking at a 5 day study break before the horrid exams descend upon us. And as I've mentioned before, I'm terrified at the prospect of performing below average. Which is a very real fear, considering the following recent test results:

Chemistry: 32/100 (mean 37.5, highest score 85 -damn I need to work SO much harder. 5 days left!- )

Statistics: 22/30 (mean 22/30 -I'm not too upset over this paper because I got all the calculation questions correct! It was the unexpected definition questions...)

General Physiology: 16/20 (mean 17.1 -wtf-)

Geography: B for human geog paper, B- for first physical geog report. (Nicht gut. Why didn't I S/U this module...)

German: 97% for vocab test (It could have been higher if I didn't blank out the umlaut. ARGH. I so hate pural forms.), a miserly 64% for semestral test 2 and 81% for oral test. I don't know what to make of these results because I don't know what the mean scores are like, but I do know that I could have done better for vocab and semestral test.)

Biodiversity: still waiting for the results of the 2nd CA, but I don't expect it to be well done because I know I have a few mistakes already.

That said, the last german lecture was quite fun! After getting our papers back, we watched half a video until it became evident to the lecturer that we had zero interest in it. So we ended up singing silent night holy night in german while eating gingerbread which she gave us! And we (4 of us, that is) were doing stupid things like we always did, like balancing pens on our lips and talking a wee bit too loudly. (Of course, the guys were louder...) I think I will most certainly miss this german lecture group =( It was easily the most enjoyable module/lecture out of all the other crap modules I'm taking this term =)

erp.

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/color.php?c0=7&c1=2&c2=1&c3=6&c4=3&c5=4&c6=5&c7=0

food food and... food.

Yesterday was a fattening day: Lunch was a dessert buffet =P at the grand hyatt with alex and it was... ahem... affordable. I was very amused/amazed when I found out the reason behind the reduced cost. Plus to see The SmirkTM. The food was SO good. -yummm-


Dinner with hs was a lot more economical I guess, but we got this! =)

(Though we had to spend $10 more compared to the previous time. Luck wasn't so good and the machine was mildly screwed up.)

I haven't the mood and strength to mug, figuratively and literally. This muscle ache (or as hs puts it, strain, because ache suggests that I have been working out and given that I am the Lazy Bum of All-Time, a Great Insult to those people who actually do work out.) in the region of my left back leaves me unable to manoveure a pen/pencil and look down without some measure of discomfort, and also leaves me with a neck flexibility of someone who has his/her neck in a cast. I can't look up, I can't reach behind nor above me and I can't get myself up to a sitting position. Plus I am inclined to believe that the rubbing ytd only served to aggravate it... and there's this great mental inertia and lethargy, which is seriously disturbing given the very screwed up marks for the most recent test I sat for. (I ought to be all fired up to mug!) But I feel exceptionally tired for the past few days (Think its the time of the month, damnit) and there's only slightly more than a month left before hs flies off for at least half a year and I still have exams to study for within this time period (which is what I should be doing now! Grr.) and everytime I think of this I feel very depressed. Sian. =(

bye bye penal code 377

hello hc130 '04, penal code 377 has been abolished. =P and one day, penal code 377a will go too.

Trip down memory lane!!!!

Amending sections 377 and 377a will signify recognition of the homosexual community in Singapore. Homosexuals would no longer be susceptible to blackmail regarding their sexual orientation. It is a pre-requisite for subsequent steps in our course of action.
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As we recognise that it would be impossible to test our plan, we decided to consult the opinions of others with regards to the plan’s feasibility. Most younger respondents agreed that our plan was workable but changing the law would be an uphill task. Older respondents felt that such a plan will never be accepted by society. We consulted Prof. Ho who felt that the plan was workable. As such, we concluded that this again boils down to the different levels of acceptance among people. Our plan, ambitious as it is, may or may not be realised in a decade’s time due to the unpredictability of changes in society, but we are certain that it will eventually happen.

though i dont think there has been much recognition and acceptance in the years after our project was done... but we are certain that it will eventually happen. LOL!!!

pop goes the pimple

The giant pimple on my right cheek burst. I'm so afraid there will be a scar. =(

And I got bitten by what might be the first mosquito in the year.

In other less-bimbotic news, I got called a "kancheong spider" today. While I still don't know the proper definition of "kancheong spider", I think my friend meant to tell me that I was too, uptight? Stressed out? Working too much? Worrying too much?

-shrug-

And apparently there was a scary glint in my eye when I was talking about the results of the last CA and how so many people got A+. Well, I won't deny that I'm pretty cheesed off over the fact that my A means nothing in the light of so many A+s. Can't believe how I overlooked that one question. (okay. stop.)

Try as I might, I've never achieved full marks for MCQs. And this is infinitely frustrating.


I want a break after the 2 tests today; there's only so much rubbish my brain can take. But there's another test to go before the end of this week.

Fear.

I don't know how to articulate the fear of getting a CAP below 4.0 and graduating with a mediocre bachelor of sciences (life sciences - conc in biomedical sciences) in the event of having to stay on.

Try as I might, the information refuses to internalise...

(4.0 translates into an A-, but every science student I've talked to has only this comment: "3.5 very difficult to achieve... meh?" Its pretty much nothing in here. I don't know how I'm going to survive this.)

Not Pleased

It poured on wednesday. I ran in the rain. I was thoroughly soaked (I looked as though I had just went swimming in my clothes) but I figured that was nothing as long as I get to that stupid lecture. And I'm not going to die in the rain since I'm waterproof.

Sitting in wet clothes in a freezing LT. No big deal then, no big deal now. No cold, no flu, nope. Nothing At All.

But. I discovered that my German textbook is.not.waterproof. Now the pages are crumpled and stuck together. GRRRRRRRRRR. I am extremely displeased. I think I'd have to bring ziploc bags to nus next time.

(And yes, I care more about the appearance of my books than myself. Squeeze water out of my blouse while sporting deranged-looking hair in LT? No problem. Wet, crumpled and dog-earred book? WTH.)

Lethargy...

I feel so lethargic. Rotting away even though I know I have work waiting for me.

Must.Understand.Muscle.Action.and.Start.On.German.Vocab.List.Today.

And watch sleep-inducing webcasts.

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Zoo field trip yesterday was mostly fun, except for (where else) the snake house. At least I didn't faint =) merely teared a bit when we had to get closer to the fat reticulated pythons. Think that was the only place where I was standing behind everyone else and carefully adverting my eyes from the reptile. Other that that, I especially liked the fragile forest! (Assuming there are no snakes lurking in there...) There were many moths and we were up close and personal with a lesser mousedeer (omg so cute!) and a sloth! It really looked like those stuffed creatures in the biodiversity lab... until it turned and stared at us. A MOVING SLOTH!

And the kangaroos. Hopping around. So adorable =) But the name of the young (joey) tickles me. Maybe its because I read this particular line in a book by Bill Bryson on his mum's reluctance to visit a kangaroo cementary (which isn't a place for dead kangaroos, by the way. But he was amused to think of a hypothetical headstone reading "Here lies Joey, Husband of Joey. Survived by many children. All named Joey.")

I still stick to my stand that the only snakes I like are dead, skinned and used as a component for various musical instruments e.g 高/中/二/板/京 胡s, bian gu.

Alone?

Today, I found someone who doesn't like university life either. And she's been in this for longer than me.

Now I don't feel so alone when people declare that uni life will be the best years of your life because I have difficulty believing that anything at noos can top my secondary and junior college years.



I never thought that I'd feel this comfortable and uncomfortable being alone. It is said that university life makes one independent and readies you for the real world... Perhaps it is true... by making one go about lessons alone... Essentially you are alone... after all, you came into this world alone and you will most likely go alone, unless of course you are involved in a mass accident/disaster. Then again, your final breath is yours and yours alone. Nobody can take it for you.

I fear for the exams... I'm afraid I can't even manage a B+ average... Studying is very difficult when you haven't much interest in the subject content... Nothing seems to stick... And how will I ever do well if I don't learn anything after studying?

38 days to the official end of this semester... And I hope I don't have to begin another here... please...

German oral test down... and more hurdles to jump. Sometimes I feel like a kangaroo.